While I understand split finances can be a solution; my personal opinion on it is that it's a recipe that tries to avoid the real issue: Lack of communication / understanding between partners.
Having separate finances may sound good; but imho there's just too much going on in a long term relationship to do it properly. E.g. What happens if you jointly decide it's probably best if one of the parents stays home for a few years to raise kids? Do you see it as a 'mini retirement' (but is it; really?) or subtract a fictional salary for the parent staying at home from the partner that ends up working? Etc. A long term relationship is something you're in together
. If you want to keep it a good relationship you should realize it takes takes serious effort. There will be times when your long term plans are at odds with each other. There may be times where you feel like you're putting all the effort in alone (and times where you realize you slacked off for the last X months and stopped putting in the effort while your spouse pulled all the weight!) Anyway; as you already said: It's time for OP to find a middle ground. That will take time and quite a bit of effort. Don't give up OP; in the long term it's more than worth it. Side note: If you don't know how you can convince your wife or find it hard; I strongly recommend reading How to win friends and influence people
.17 points in /r/financialindependence by huppie | 10 May 2017